Sicks Pax

Caterpillars, butterflies and a new round of chemo begins

Posted in Cancer,Sara by sicks on May 28, 2008

“Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis. I don’t know if this is emotionally stressful for caterpillars, but for humans it can be hell on wheels. At times you may feel it’s the end of the world. Just remember that what the caterpillar calls the end of the world, God calls a butterfly.” -Martha Beck

A good friend of mine shared this quote with me and I love it. I think if caterpillars could talk we’d hear lots of painful shrieking and confusion in our backyards: “My skin! It’s so tight! It’s falling off … what is happening here? Why in the world am I building this silk cave cave around myself? Why is it so dark in here? What in the world is happening to me?” Before these caterpillars know it, they are transformed into totally different creatures that are very different than the old ones but are beautiful to behold. Their new identity and reality is what God intended them to be all along but it came at a price.

That’s how I feel about this season in life. God is transforming me into a different woman (thank goodness!). I am not suggesting that I am going to look like a butterfly but simply that metamorphosis is painful and hard work for all of us. The Refiner is passionate about turning us into something beautiful—someone he had in mind when he created us in our mothers’ wombs. He wants us to look more and more like his son Jesus. He has great plans in mind, and needs to turn us into different people for those plans to come to their fruition. So let’s let him have His way with us when he allows circumstances that change us. “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” Ephesians 3:20-21.

On another note, I start my new 12-week round of chemo on Monday, June 2nd. This chemo (Taxol, combined with an amazing new drug called Herceptin) is supposedly a lot easier to take and doesn’t have as many side effects. Chris’ cousin Amanda comes in on Sunday, June 1st for 3 1/2 weeks to help us with the kids and such. What a blessing! God continues to provide for us internally and externally. He is good.

Thanks for checking in with the Sicks family and for your faithful prayers!

Love, Sara


8 Responses to 'Caterpillars, butterflies and a new round of chemo begins'

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  1. Mike Scibetta said,


    I love the phrase “season of life.”

    Keep up with living your “season of life” for all it is meant to be.

    Best wishes on the next round.

    Mike and Lisa Scibetta

  2. Jessica said,

    Thank you so much for the encouraging words. We continue to pray for you strength through all of this. I am also really going to try to not step on catepilliars anymore!

  3. e vest said,

    We’re still with you guys and appreciate the updates. Our study of 3 is keeping up as well. Joy Johanson (Sara, did you know her from 4th?) is our partner in the same and asked after you this evening.

  4. Debbie said,

    What an amazing writer you are Sara!
    Oh the goodness of God…He is our healer and restorer. You are moving right along and what a blessing to read about it. We are praying here in Issaquah.

  5. sarah said,

    thank you, only God knows just how important me discovering these words this morning, your beauty and faith humble me and were exactly what i needed to know i dont need to sit in a pit of self pity but rather trust God to walk beside me, before me and behind me through the journey of pain and self discovery and KNOW that one day we will fly and His beauty will be seen.
    thank you precious butterfly, blessings and prayers from a caterpillar

  6. Rachel said,

    Sara, your words are an encouragement to me and challenge me to embrace times of transition with a new perspective! You and your family continue to be lifted before the throne of grace.

    You really are a gifted writer Sara. God is not wasting your suffering, I see how He’s using it in Curt and my life as well as people you may not even know…but your story is being held up as an example to many. Keep pressing on.

    Much love,

    Rachel and Curt

  7. Kimber said,

    Hey How!

    I just want you to know how much we appreciate you keeping us aware of your metamorphosis. I check in all the time, though often times I don’t leave a message. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Your journey is transforming many. “Fly like a butterfly, sting like a bee.”

    Yo heart you! I like carmel.

    La BSS #1 Kimber J

    Beware. I am coming to town this summer.

  8. Susan said,

    My dear Sara,

    You are a wounded healer! Praise be to God for His mercy and goodness and for how much inspiration you have given to us.

    Feel all our prayers and love,

    Paul and Susan Vidal

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