Here we go again…

It feels quite strange to write for the blog again two years after my previous entry.  But it was always a huge blessing for us and we pray it will be used again for God’s glory.

This week we’re busy getting ready for next week’s chemo on the 15th.  I had my second biopsy done today so they could see if I am HER2 positive (they need to know this before adding wonder drug Herceptin to my treatment plan).  Tomorrow (Wednesday) I have a medi-port put back in so that the chemotherapy can be administered safely and easily through that port.  And then we learn on Friday what exactly my treatment regimen will be from my oncologist.

Now that the brass tacks of the cancer stuff are stated, here’s how were doing internally:

We’re feeling calm in the midst of the storm.  I have always loved that word picture and it perfectly describes how we’re doing.  When the news first broke late last week that I was going to start chemo soon, I felt gripped by sadness.  It felt like I was underwater and was struggling to see or hear anything from the Lord.  I kept asking him to show up somehow.  I spent a good amount of time driving around Saturday due to lots of children activities.  I was still feeling under water with sadness, and suddenly a flip was switched, so to speak.  I no longer felt sadness had a grip on my heart.  Usually when a change like that happens, it’s because of a special song or a sermon, but this was just out of the blue and very sudden.  Quite wild.  And since then I have felt at peace.  So while I am still mentally sad and bummed out about the return of cancer and the reality of starting chemo next week, my heart feels calm and at peace.  I know this is not from me (only because I know myself too well) and is only the Lord’s firm grasp on my heart and the gift of a new disposition.  I am grateful for this gift.

Thank you for walking with us on this journey.  We appreciate your friendship and your prayers.

With affection,
Sara

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