Sicks Pax

To rest between His shoulders

Posted in Cancer,Coping with Cancer,Sara by sicks on May 2, 2008

“Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him,
for he shields him all day long,
and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.”
Deuteronomy 33:12

We were created to lean back into the Lord like a woman reclines her back into a man’s body with his arms around her. It is a loving body position and shows intimacy between the two people. In this position, the woman rests in the man’s strength and feels secure, protected and loved. I think this verse is referring to the kind of relationship his beloved children were designed to have with the Lord, where we are leaning into him in all areas of our life. I believe this was perhaps our natural positioning with the Lord before the fall of man. But after the fall when sin entered the world, our body position with the Lord changed. The Lord still desires that we would rest between his shoulders–that we would be completely dependent on him. But because our sin and waywardness, we choose to put distance between ourselves and our first love and seek other things to satisfy us. As it says in Isaiah 53:6, “We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.”

Through my ordeal with cancer, I have realized that I have run into the arms of other lovers. I am not speaking of my relationship with my husband Chris, but about my relationship with the Lord. There are other lovers that I seek because I think they will bring me comfort, satisfaction and joy. Some of my lovers are having nice clothes, an organized home, constant fun and laughter with others, a respectable to do list, children who obey me. None of these things of course are bad in an of themselves, but making them into a lover takes it beyond a healthy point. So even though I am a follower of Christ, my life at times is filled with dissatisfaction and emptiness. Part of that reason, I believe, is because my heart is wrapped around other lovers.

I have struggled tremendously this past week with the whole idea of suffering. This struggle is not at all limited to my personal battle with breast cancer, but lies more in why a loving God allows so much suffering in this world. This is hardly a new question but it has hit me so hard. I have not only been terribly angry with the Lord, but confused and quite scared of him. I couldn’t even sing praise songs in church this past week because I couldn’t say any of those words to him.

One of my conclusions is that the Lord allows suffering because it hopefully sends us running back into the arms of our first love to resume that loving body position I described earlier. The Lord doesn’t need to be in that position, but we were made to live like that. It is in that position that we are fully satisfied and we are our true selves. We were made to be bound to his presence. He is a jealous God and will go to great lengths to show us our dependency on him. He is jealous for our satisfaction and joy.  Through Christ’s death on the cross, I now have access to God’s loving arms and am able to resume that intimate body position.  I still do not understand a lot about suffering but I know that the Lord is using my suffering to pry me out the arms of my other lovers so that I can rest fully in his arms where I belong.



10 Responses to 'To rest between His shoulders'

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  1. Debbie said,

    Those are awe-inspiring words. I’ve been praying intensely this past week.
    BTW, are you going to Chicago this summer? I’m thinking about going the end of July to a reunion, and would find you if you were there.

  2. Alina said,

    This is very insightful, Sara. You are in my thoughts and prayers,

  3. Tracey and Jeff Beers said,

    Oh dear Sara,

    Thank you for sharing your heart. Please know that we pray for you and your family continually. May the Lord bless you with peace as you search for His answers on this subject. May we all have ears to hear when He speaks.

    So much love from across the ocean
    the Beers’

  4. Dan Conway said,

    I was focusing yesterday on “…thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven” and “…forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors”. Great to return to. Yours is an honest struggle, a struggle worth having and a struggle the Lord wants us to have. Ashley and I will be praying for your restful spot between the Lord’s shoulders. What a wonderful picture that is.

  5. Gretchen Davis said,

    Sara – wise words – thanks. I especially relate to paragraph two. So many idols, so little time to discover them all. Thank God He knows me better than I know myself, yet still loves me.
    Great seeing you on Saturday. You look great – and as usual – just like in sixth grade – you make me laugh!!! We Love you and are praying for round four.


  6. Cindy said,

    Sara, you don’t know me, but i have been praying for you and your family, and continue to read your blog each week. My prayers have changed – I have felt strongly to pray this way, thanking God for the Miracles He has performed in you, that we have not yet seen. Just because we don’t see answers or miracles right away – does not mean that God has not already performed them and perfected us – it just means that He has not chosen to reveal them to us yet. Faith – believeing in miracles before we see them, knowing they are coming.

    I thank God for restoring your health, and now your peace of mind as well.

  7. Sarah said,

    Powerful words…thank you for sharing–again–in a bold and honest way. You strike a chord: yet another way brothers and sisters in Christ are bonded together is the Comforter we share in times of great suffering. The God who gives me strength is the God who gives you strength and the same God who created all things and makes all things new. Thanks for the reminder that He’s created us to lean on Him and trust Him always, even as our eyes and emotions wander elsewhere for comfort and satisfaction. Thanks God (literally) that He is so patient with us…”His love endures forever…”

    EnJOY time with dear friends this weekend…hugs all around–

  8. Aunt Melissa said,

    I am humbled!! Back into the arms of Jesus! No other lover can do!!!!

  9. Caren Sturgill said,

    Thank you so much Sara! I think it is fun to hug people the way you describe God holding us. I am sure he enjoys hugging you/us like that!


  10. 2l2phant said,

    Reblogged this on 2l2phant and commented:
    Love this!! Perfect timing ❤

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