Seeking God for more than healing
It is right to seek the Lord at this time for healing. It is right to beseech him and fervently ask him for this. I am doing this every day and I ask you to do the same on my behalf. But, I seem to have gotten stuck here. At times I can’t see beyond the question, “Lord, is it your will to heal me?” I am not at all questioning whether he can heal me, but I am worried whether he will.
I know I need to move beyond this point. I believe the Lord wants me to pursue him first and foremost for relationship and fellowship with him. When I pursue him just for him, he meets me there, he comforts me, loves me, gives me rest and peace, and shows me his beautiful face. It’s here that he offers me his presence. He has not yet revealed the answer to my pressing question. The time for that answer has not yet arrived. I need to wait patiently and let him work.
I do believe that one of the reasons for this cancer is to knock out all the other props in my life and show me that the Lord is the only one who sustains my life and is the only one whom I can completely trust. My strength lies in trusting this way. He is at home in my weakness, he is drawn to my weakness and he supplies me with his great and mighty strength. That is how I want to live right now–resting in Him, believing in what he has revealed about his character and looking to his face rather than believing my fears. I don’t want to “waste this cancer” (see Feb 6 post below). As John Piper points out in that article, I want to work with this cancer. To work with the Lord as he uses cancer to accomplish great things in my heart.
-Sara
Sicks Pax 
on February 9, 2008 on 11:27 pm
Sara and Chris,
Janet and I will keep you both in our prayers. We pray to GOD that he hold both of your hands during this time and that he lift up your spirits and guide the hands of the surgeons who will help to cure you. Although we do not get to APC much these days, you both (and the rest of the APC family) are never far from our minds and hearts. May GOD bless you both and we will continue to pray for you.
God Bless,
Ed and Janet
on February 10, 2008 on 5:23 pm
Dear Sara and Family,
I am a friend of the Battens, and received your prayer request from them. I wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you, for, some times knowing that people are praying is all that carries one through. Perhaps your request touches me deeply thinking of my sisters diagnosis with ovarian cancer a couple years ago. We thank God that she is alive and cancer free today, but know the valleys you will have ahead. May God carry you through!
Rhonda
on February 10, 2008 on 5:38 pm
Hi Sara,
I’m a friend of Katy’s, and our prayer group has been praying for you here.
We were encouraged today in church to think about faith.
Genuine faith “sees the invisible, speaks the improbable and seizes the impossible,” our pastor said, and his text was blind Bartimaeus’s story in Mark 10. The neat thing was, though, that the verse he started out with was the same one you have on your page, about God doing “exceedingly more abundantly than we ask or think.”
As a footnote, my mom has been cancer free for more than 20 years after uterine cancer. I can hardly remember now when she was bald from the chemo.
Hang in there.
Donna Marmorstein
on February 10, 2008 on 8:17 pm
Hi Chris and Sara,
I just wanted you both to know how much you all have been on my mind and in my prayers. The waiting and the uncertainty are probably some of the toughest things to deal with. I heard a good message by Lon Soloman this AM about waiting on God. One of his points was that waiting was not just sitting back and doing nothing but is a very active holding on to the sure things we know about the Lord like his incredible love and perfect faithfulness.
May the Lord’s grace overwhelm you in every step of the process.
He is good.
With love,
Dave Bogdan
on February 10, 2008 on 9:04 pm
Sara and Chris,
wow. We just learned about your grandmother passing away, Chris. What an emotional time. It seems like too much to bear, yet we know the Lord is still on the throne. We continue to lift you up in prayer, Sara. We will ask for your complete healing, as well as for wisdom for your doctors, comfort and peace for you, provision for your household during this time, and that any pockets of fear would be banished by the power and blood of Jesus Christ. Thanks be to God who ALWAYS gives us the victory through Christ Jesus our Lord. The LORD is your strength. We are believing Him for you!
Love and prayers from all of us,
Michelle and Kerry
on February 11, 2008 on 8:11 am
Over the last two years both my mother and niece have had breast cancer scares. Fortunately both have worked out and they are healthy and happy. A dear friend of Chris’ and mine (M.N.) has been going through this with his mother. Much more serious case but, she too, is overcoming this disease. Sara will likewise rise to the challenge. Back here in Rochester, NY there are prayers heading your way.
on February 11, 2008 on 1:24 pm
Dear Sara,
Thank you so much for this and the other updates about what you are going through in facing your breast cancer. It helps my struggling spirit to hear what you share. I sorrow at your suffering, and I rejoice at your faith. I am praying for you regarding your surgery tomorrow and the subsequent results regarding what to do next. I am praying for Chris, your children, and the rest of your extended family. I want your complete healing so that you may live, too! You encourage and cheer my heart because you seek God’s spiritual growth amid the mystery of this suffering and because you know that it is good to seek healing and life from our God.
Know that you are a blessing in my life. If I can do anything for you or your family, please feel free to let me know.
In Jesus’ love,
Bryan
on February 11, 2008 on 9:41 pm
Hi Howard,
I have been face down before our Lord many times over the past couple of weeks…it seems the best place to meet Him. Your honesty in what you are feeling has touched me greatly. I am thankful that tomorrow you will have some uncertainties cleared up. As you said to me, many months ago, “gird up your loins”. You have done this, He is with you!
I have been so blessed to have you as part of my life! God has used you to touch my life and give me strength through a difficult time. He is so close to you right now…carrying you, what a great blessing it is that you know that. I love you dearly and can’t wait for us to sit back in the future and reminisce on our journeys! I am still amazed, as our painful roles are reversed, that you are still the one giving me strength!
My Beth Moore bible study group is praying for you! As prayers are lifted up by Jesus, our great intersessor, I envision the angles and cheribum shouting and exulting His name, just as you have done. They hear you!
I love you Howie! I wish I could think of a good SNL quote, but all that comes to mind is “It’s Hot, in the Hot Tub!” My heart and prayers are with you!
Al
on February 13, 2008 on 2:12 pm
Dearest Sara,
We just learned about the cancer and your surgery. Please know that we will all be praying for you and for your family. You are amazing, and so right to believe that this cancer will not be “wasted.”
May God continue to meet you, comfort you and sustain you.
All our love from across the ocean,
the Beers “Six-Pack” (Tracey, Jeff, Sam, Emilie, Sarah, and Jack)
on February 13, 2008 on 11:15 pm
Dear Sara,
I’ve been thinking about you and praying for you since Dan told me of your battle with cancer. It doesn’t matter that we haven’t met or spoke in such a long time, I wanted to let you know my thought are with you every day.
I just read your thoughts of fear and strength and your words inspired both happy and sad tears. I just said to Dan, “Wow, your faith in God is so strong, it’s inspiring!” Sara, it gave me a chill and a smile and your words of faith made know that God is always with you and whatever he decides for you, both you and your family will be ok.
I wish I could be there with your family and lend you my support. In the meantime, please accept my virtual hug instead.
P.S. Your children are the CUTEST and so fortunate to have you guys as their parents, and I pray that their little hearts remain at peace.
With love,
Susan Winton