Radiation is done — cancer free!!!!
Hey gang –
I just finished radiation today after 5 1/2 weeks of daily treatments! That brings 8 months of major treatments (chemo and radiation) to an end. It’s a bit of a presumption, but the doc tells me I can start talking about cancer in the past tense now—remission, survivor, cancer free and all that. It’s quite fun! Today is such a huge milestone that it’s hard to take it all in. I’m sure it will take a while. While I don’t feel any different physically, it’s quite a change emotionally and mentally.
I’m not done with all the drugs … I will continue to be treated with miracle-drug Herceptin until Spring 2009. I will also take osteoperosis drug Zometa as part of the bone trial I am in for another 3 years. And I will at some point start Tamoxifen, which interrupts the production of hormones, for 5 years. I am so thankful for the opportunity to take these amazing drugs. Lastly, I will have my final reconstruction surgery maybe in a month or so (I see my plastic surgeon in a week to schedule all of that).
I am so grateful to have made it through radiation without having to have surgery because of the hole in my incision (for all of you who have been keeping up on the gory details). God has been so faithful. Christ has been so present. He has provided so abundantly in so many categories. To him be glory!
I look forward to continuing to become the woman God intends me to be. Cancer has changed me. I wish change didn’t have to come this way, but I am grateful for what I have learned so far (I have a lot more to learn still). I look forward to more time with my family, less doctor appointments, getting my energy back, days filled with hope, and receiving my first haircut! I have a lot to look forward to …
THANK YOU for your prayers and for keeping up with us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Love, Sara
Thoughts on suffering
Oh boy, what a topic. I am quite a novice on this topic and I know I have a lot more to learn. But one of my biggest “aha!” moments came earlier this year as I was pondering suffering and how hard it is to understand that God often chooses it to accomplish his goals in his followers. But there was a time without suffering, when things didn’t have to be this way. Suffering comes from the Fall, not from the Garden of Eden. It was there that God invited us to live in sweet fellowship with our Creator, forever. It was life in the King’s palace.
But Adam and Eve chose life outside of the palace by choosing their own path. They decided to try living independently. However, the life of joy and peace is one that is utterly dependent on God. We just don’t like that, we want to be autonomous, self-sufficient. But if we are to look more like Christ, we have to live dependent upon the Father, and that includes suffering. Big changes in our lives often take place in the crucible of suffering. But suffering was not part of God’s original creation. It exists because of human choice. Learning this made me a lot less angry with God.
It is through the crucible of suffering that we can change and slowly become more beautiful and more like the people we were intended to be. I heard a story once about an interaction between Mother Teresa and one of the people she served who had lived a life of suffering. She told him that his afflictions were kisses from Jesus. His retort: “Could you tell Jesus to stop kissing me so much?” I feel a bit like this man this year. Suffering ain’t fun and it isn’t something we would choose. But is it effective? Yes, it is. I wonder what this year would have been like if I wasn’t diagnosed with cancer. I am quite grateful for Christ’s close presence, the reality of who he is and what he has done. I’m grateful for God’s stunning provision for us and showing me that I can trust him. I wouldn’t trade those precious jewels that I received through suffering. I knew a little about these things beforehand but now they go so much deeper. I have a lot more to learn. If you are suffering too, don’t waste your suffering. If you are like me, my goals are often just to get through the day so that it is behind me, but God has so much more in mind for these days of hardship. May God have his way with us so that we turn into the people we were meant to be, people who are joyful and satisfied with our place in God’s family (we are his beloved!)
In other news … I am a little bit past the half-way point in radiation, which is quite cool that the end to the major treatments is just two-and-a-half weeks away (if I don’t have to go into surgery before I finish). I started the bone trial last week and was assigned the drug Zometa. This is an osteopeorosis drug in the Bisphosphonates family and is being tested to see if it can help prevent recurrence in the bones for breast cancer patients. It is administered intravenously every 4 weeks for the first 6 months and then every 3 months for the next 2 1/2 years. I am quite grateful to have access to such cutting-edge drugs. Also, a little prayer request: I have had a twitch in my left eye for nearly 2 months now. The doctors say it could be stress related and might very well be around for a while and then go away. I am very aware of this little annoyance and I need God’s help to get through it, or it would be great if he took it away! Lastly, Chris’ folks are here for 3 weeks and have been quite busy taking care of the kids and with house projects. God provides!
Love, Sara
Radiation going well; hair update
Hey gang –
I have made it just fine through my second week of radiation, which means I am a third of the way done. Hooray! I am tired but I think it’s just having three kids and life with cancer and not yet the effects of radiation. Hard to say.
My hair is getting down right “long” — I have just about an inch these days. It’s great to have my own hair back. It’s still quite curly but this time I have some gray hair mixed in with my old light brown color. My hair is not quite a cool doo yet but I’ll take what I can get. I can’t wait for my first haircut!
Love, Sara
The children celebrated my new hair by adorning me with bows.
Birthday #2 for our G-girl.
