You are my beloved
I grew up in the church and have heard all my life that the Lord loves me — and if I just understood that, it would really change my every day life. I think I struggle knowing this truth deep down. Part of the problem is familiarity breeds indifference. Have I heard that too many times that it can’t penetrate the way that it should? Also, the fact that God loves us because of Christ is quite hard to believe. Lately, the Lord has used the word beloved to hit a home run. Isn’t that a beautiful word? For me, it penetrates down deep.
Henri Nowen writes how important it is to spend time with the Lord in solitude as “it’s the place in which you can listen to the voice of the One who calls you the beloved. … Wherever you have gone, whatever you have done, and whatever people say about you, you are my beloved. I hold you safe in my embrace. I touch you. I hold you safe under my wings. You can come home to me whose name is Compassionate, whose name is Love.”
He goes on say that if we aren’t hearing and knowing that we are God’s beloved then “you will run around begging for affirmation, for praise, for success. And then you’re not free.”
When I don’t understand or live like I am Christ’s beloved, I am a walking gaping hole that seeks to vacuum in praise, affirmation or anything that will make me whole. It’s painful and downright annoying to not be whole, which is why we spend so much time trying to figure out how to be satisfied. But we are meant to be whole, to be satisfied. Our creator says, only I can make you whole, only my living water can fill you up and satisfy your thirst. It’s amazing what a difference it makes when I preach to myself: I am his beloved. When I do, I am filled and become less dependent on what others can give me because I already have what I need. I look less to my husband to be my god, less to my children, my friends, my schedule or to do list to fill me.
If you are in Christ, then you are his beloved too. May this reality change how we live and feel.
In other news … my first week of radiation is done. So far so good. It’s still a bit wild to think of medicine as coming from a gigantic machine that zaps you daily. My incision hole is actually worse but all the doctors want to keep marching forward with radiation to see if I can make it through these next 4 1/2 weeks without surgery. I am a bit emotionally worn out and so I could use prayers for perseverance. Thankfully, I can turn to Christ each day for strength. I would prefer to get my strength in monthly or yearly installments, but the Lord only promises to give us what we need for that day, while promising that He’ll also be there tomorrow with tomorrow’s allotment. As always, thanks for checking in!
Love, Sara
on September 29, 2008 on 8:31 am
Preach it sister — just what I needed to hear. Still praying for the blessed scabaliciousness! (Wow…maybe I should change my name before posting this?!)
on September 30, 2008 on 7:00 pm
Amen!! I read a book by Francine Rivers a while back in which the main character is named, “Beloved.” God spoke to her frequently. I.e. Beloved, you are not alone….I will uphold you, my Beloved. It totally hit home. The first time I thought of God calling ME by that name I cried out loud. (Jeff thought I was nuts)
We’ll be praying for you and for your ability to keep on keeping on!
Love,
The Beers
on October 2, 2008 on 12:23 am
We love you, Sara ! Your blog has so blessed us–true ministry–thank you. We are praying for you and for your precious family.
Sweet Blessings and Love to the Beloved! Love, Gillian and Richard and Family
Below is a 9 minute video we wanted to share with you–although its an update on our family–it shares how God has been revealing HImself to us in the past couple of years–..I’m mostly sending it for a “happy” to your mother’s heart–the rendition of “Jesus Loves Me” from our two year old, Ava is for you, our dear sister
on October 2, 2008 on 9:22 am
I love you Sara. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and your story. May God lift you up each day with strength to persevere through the daily zapping, to heal the wound, and to give you emotions that fit the moment. May He give you laughter along the way. You write so wonderfully. Keep it up.
Love, Leonor
on October 11, 2008 on 12:09 pm
Hi Sara,
I wanted to thank you for this blog entry on behalf of my whole family (and my sister especially–she specifically asked me to thank you). We have been going through a very dark time and your words have spoken to our hearts and met us during this suffering. I am thankful for how the Lord is using you so powerfully.
Much love,
Rachel