3rd round down and thoughts from a chemo brain

Tonight I am pulling out of the haze of AC chemo #3 (out of 4) and it’s a good feeling. This week wasn’t as bad as I had thought it would be and I am grateful. No walk in the park but not bad if you have to have chemo. Your prayers about killing all those nasty cancer cells and other prayer needs continue to be of great comfort. Thank you, thank you!

Two random things on my chemo brain tonight … Okay, regarding the wig … I have gotten a number of “great new doo” compliments (I’m not bragging here) from passersby who don’t know what’s going on. Because I don’t know what to say and don’t want them to feel bad, I just say thank you and move on. What would you do? Random question.

Also, what’s the deal with the tons of cancer references in TV drama world these days? Every show Chris and I watch has some sort of cancer battle mixed into the plot — my goodness you can’t get away from it! Are the writers short on disease ideas? Has it always been this way and I have never noticed? I hope this isn’t a round of self pity, but I just had to comment because it’s so weird!

Much love,

Sara

New wig and 3rd round of chemo

Every man and woman would agree that the relationship we women have with our hair can be very a complex thing. We have bad hair days, good hair days and everything in between.

When I set out to get my first wig at the beginning of March, I thought every wig shop was the same. Who’d-a thought otherwise? Well, there is a difference. Back in March, some dear friends and my mom accompanied me to two local shops nearby. To keep the critique short, one shop in particular clearly felt they were the best wig shop around. Moreover, they were extremely pushy and tried hard to convince me what I needed and why. Thankfully, we finished the day on a lighter note and I walked out of the shop with a decent wig.

After I lost my hair, I started to wear the wig and felt it just wasn’t me: it was a bit too long (I don’t really want a bunch of hair around my neck that isn’t home grown), it was constantly in my face and eyes, it was horribly uncomfortable, and there was this strange mound that was just too high at the crown of my head. Although I didn’t think it was possible, I was having a bad wig day.

While I was at my first chemo appointment, another woman who was also getting chemo asked me where I’d bought my wig. After I told her, she said: “That’s where the prostitutes go!…. we’re not doing that!” Too funny. She told me where “we” (i.e. cancer patients) go—to Bravada’s in Fairfax.

My dear friend Barb went with me to Bravada’s and the experience was like night and day. The staff was so kind, compassionate, helpful and non-pushy. I ordered a snazzy shorter wig that is much more my style. My daughter Lucy can now use my old wig as a fun accessory for her dress up clothes or I might give it away. You can see her—and Chris—in my old wig in the pictures below. I love my new wig (even though it still is a bit uncomfortable after wearing it for a few hours) and am grateful for my new doo.

In other news, I start my third round of chemo tomorrow, April 21st. This is the 3rd out of 4 kick-you-in-the-behind-chemo. I’m told the effects get worse with each progressive treatment. So I am fully expecting a rough 4 days. At the same time, I am grateful that I have access to such amazing medicine that is fully paid for by health insurance. So on one hand, I look forward to this week when more cancer cells will be killed, but in the process I will likely feel crummy.

So if you are willing, please pray for active cancer cells on Monday and Tuesday as that is how chemo identifies them and then blows them to smithereens! Please also pray that I will be able to weather the storm with grace. And finally that the children will get through the week well and I that I will be able to interact with them and Chris more than I am anticipating. Like before, Ginger, our 19-month-old, is with my parents for the week to lighten the load. Thank you dear friends!

Much love, Sara

“The Healing Power of Afflictions” article

I would like to include a link to a wonderful article about affliction by David Wilkerson. My friend Rachel shared it with me yesterday. It blew my socks off and I will be marinating myself in it for months. It you want a good read, click here.

Love,

Sara

In the wilderness: emotions up and down, and God speaks tenderly

I thought I’d give folks a snapshot of how we’re doing these days.

Chemo was harder last week than the first go around. Thankfully the effects last for about four days so you can count those down. For me, the harder road is the emotional and spiritual side effects of this cancer–the battle in my brain. I go up and down, back and forth, and at times I feel like the waves in an ocean. A friend of ours just wrote on this blog a quote from a pastor named Rob Bell: “Maturity is when your convictions and beliefs drive the bus and tell your thoughts and feelings ‘you sit there’.” Pretty cool. I would love this to be true of me all the time. Our friend Sarah credited us with living out this quote but I am not so sure that is accurate (sorry Sarah!). So I guess my prayer request would be that it would be true of my heart and that I would not be so subject to my emotions.

Our pastor Tom Holliday preached yesterday that God leads his bride into the wilderness to speak tenderly to her (from Hosea). Wow. It had not occurred to me that he allowed this so he could speak tenderly to me. Tom said that when we are in the city our ears can get plugged and we can’t hear the Lord. So at times, God leads us out to the desert where we able to listen to him. Well, the Lord certainly has my attention in this wilderness and I want to fully hear and receive the words he wants to share. Speak tenderly, Lord, speak!

More to come soon on bad wig days and my journey to find a different wig. You know how it is… women and our hair…. well, it can get complicated. We’ll also share pics!

Love, Sara